When I first landed in Vietnam, I was exhausted. And I looked it, too. My eyes were not only bloodshot, but also irritated from my stitches, so I looked even worse than I felt. It got to a point that the first three places I stayed offered me refunds because I looked so tired they felt bad even taking my money, which has never happened to me in my life.
But it was hard for me to fall asleep, because I was nervous. I still felt worried about my eyes after being in the hospital the week before, and suddenly very disoriented from being in a completely new country. I tried my best to get my bearings, but I was struggling more than I had at any other point of my trip.
Still, I continued on traveling. I landed in Ho Chi Minh and had the best pho of my life. I explored the city and went to the War Remnants museum, a horrifying and in depth look at the effects the country is still facing since the war, including Laos and Cambodia. And then at some point, I hit a wall.
I’m not sure if it was the heat, or the culture shock. It could also have been the stress that came from just being in the hospital and not sleeping well for weeks. As soon as I woke up, I’d check my eyes to see if they looked any better; the answer was usually no. Or it could have been from the exhaustion that had finally caught up with me from traveling at such a rapid pace and moving around every 2-3 days. Maybe it was a combination of all of it! But in a few days I had reached Hoi An, a city on Vietnam’s central coast, known for its paper lanterns and custom tailoring, but also the unique artistry of their pottery and woodworking. It’s cut through with canals, their architecture a mix of both Chinese shophouses and French colonial buildings.
While I was only meant to stay a few nights, as soon as I got there, I couldn’t leave.
I felt very reluctant writing this newsletter because I recognize what a privilege it is to travel and have the time to see the world, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful. But I think because of everything I had been going through in the week prior, I was so unbelievably stressed and run down that it was very hard for me to enjoy where I was. In fact, I ended up getting incredibly anxious and depressed. While earlier on my trip I normally couldn’t wait to go out and explore and meet new people, I suddenly felt paralyzed. Suddenly, I didn’t want to get out of bed, or speak to anyone. I was miserable, and so exhausted that I couldn’t fathom making another new decision and going anywhere new. So, I continued to stay where I was at his homestay in Hoi An.
But the first thing I had to deal with was finding a pregnancy test… (told you paid subscribers would be getting more DRAMA)
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